My journey is too long to describe in full detail here, but I will say I’m eternally grateful for all the suffering I went through as a child. Without this suffering I would not have been called back to source.
Learning to tend to my young selves, to my inner children, and loving myself the way I needed to be loved as a child, has taken me on a journey of opening and expanding my heart. This expansion enabled me to move far beyond forgiveness and to love my mom and dad unconditionally before they passed, to know that they too were wounded and did the best they could given their experiences and the families they were born into.
This expansion has, at times, led me to feel, the universe through the eyes of source and step into a stream of powerful love. I’m not always in this state, and I’m pretty sure I will always be a work in progress. But I’ll never forget the first time I fell head first into this stream of powerful unconditional love. I was at the SFO airport, my heart feeling wide enough to hold the entire earth, all of us.
As I waited in the terminal for my flight, people watching, there wasn’t a single person for whom I did not feel complete unconditional love for. The only way to describe it adequately is to say I was falling in love with everyone I saw. Of course I didn’t need to know anything about these “strangers” in order to fall in love with them, because I was seeing into their deeper selves, their higher selves…and I was in complete unfiltered recognition that everyone was brave and beautiful for accepting this journey to earth, everyone here doing the best they can, no matter how destructive we humans might be at times toward ourselves or toward others. I was seeing into the value, worth, beauty and love of everyones’ soul.
Having had out-of-body experiences as a child and also speaking with loved ones after they’ve passed to the spirit world, I know love energy is where we come from, it’s where we return to and, if we’re deliberate about it, it’s what we can tune into during our time here on earth.
My intention with forming Waking Bear is to create music that transmits the energy of love, joy, appreciation, and gratitude. Sometimes our music takes us into and through grief and other heavier feelings because it feels good to release and it helps our hearts to grow.
Music for me is a celebration, a ceremony of gratitude for this life. I feel so blessed to be here, to have my children and dear friends in this life. Music uplifts me in the transcendent flow, bringing light into every cell of my body and goose bumps of pleasure. So of course this feeling is something I desire to share with others and it’s what our shows intend to do.
There are many pathways through the heart that don’t entail loss, abandonment, rejection, shame or worthlessness. So many beautiful experiences which can uplift us into the higher love; such as friendship, falling in love, nurturing and admiring our children, witnessing heartfelt expression, creations of beauty, the wonder of the natural world…the list is infinite.
For me, Noah, of Waking Bear, it took suffering through childhood loss, abandonment… and the journey of healing my heart wounds, (wounds I still tend to) such as worthlessness, shame and feeling unlovable, to free myself of the burdens I was carrying, This path led me to a leap of faith, to a great trust fall into the universe. To let go, to allow myself to fall and to trust that I would be caught, to be held and to receive the infinite love… the love which flows and transmit eternally to all of us.